Reasons. I can think of a million of them that tell me why I SHOULDN’T put everything on hold and walk across America for nine months.
The one reason that beats that million: Knowing that I’ll discover a million + 1 more reasons why I SHOULD go along the way.
Don’t be shortsighted in your reasoning when it comes to pursuing (and not pursuing) big goals and dreams.
Reasons (AKA excuses) to not do something risky are easy to come up with. They usually heavily outnumber the reasons to do it. Many folks like to use a pros vs. cons list in this situation.
But that’s the beauty of a journey. There is no other way to discover the pros than to get out there and do it. The cons are staring you in the face. The pros need to be discovered.
It’s risky and difficult. But if it was easy, everyone would do it.
I love the look in someones face when they are truly engaged in a conversation. The body language is there, the conversation flows and you can tell that you’ve struck conversation gold. It’s so nice.
As humans, which I think you probably are, we really enjoy talking about ourselves and the things we like. It’s not really as selfish as it seems, it’s just how we’re wired. Sure, we can be polite and make it through conversations that aren’t particularly interesting, but we thrive when we’re engaged and the topics are dear to us.
So how can you use this nice tidbit of information to your advantage? Easy.
When you’re talking to someone, whether it be an event, party, encounter in a long grocery store line or whatever, get to the topics that the person you’re talking to likes.
My favorite way to do this: Simply replace “So what do you do?” with “What’s your story?” Bam. Done.
“What do you do?” usually sparks a conversation about work and the daily grind, and a lot of people really don’t like their job. Even if they do like it, it consumes their life for 40+ hours per week and that’s enough. Don’t make them go over THAT again.
“What’s your story?” is much more personal, but not in a creepy way. This will get to topics such as hobbies, travels, schools attended, former home cities/countries, current home cities/countries, family and passions really fast. It kind of skips all the formalities that many of our boring conversations go through before getting to any real valuable or memorable stuff.
It’s way cooler to do this, trust me. I’m no networking or conversational genius, in fact I’m still kind of quiet, but this is a great method that I use all the time.
So, what’s your story?
I’ve had the neat opportunity so far this summer to meet a few of my “online friends” in real life. If I had to use one word to describe it: Energizing.
Living in an area where lots of people still do not even have internet access, and if they do it’s prehistoric dial-up, many of my friends and family don’t really understand it. For instance, many people told me that Alan Perlman was going to be an axe murderer and end my life somewhere in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Pretty ridiculous, right?
Anyhow, the reason I’m writing this post is to tell you about what I have found to be the best way to get extremely excited about life and your goals. Before just a number of weeks ago I had no clue that this would be such a big deal.
This shockingly effective method to get yourself pumped up and rearing to go is to simply spend some time, in person, with people who are living your dream lifestyle.
Getting together with the Way Below Status Quo crew, Colin, Andi and Ash (and meeting the awesome Elisa) was incredible. The meetup was in Portland, which is over 2.5 hours from where I live. I opted to drive 1 hour to my mom’s house to crash there instead of driving all the way home after, but it ended up being for no reason at all. I could have driven to freakin’ Alaska if I wanted to. I was that energized and encouraged by the conversation and entire experience.
I ended up staying awake until just about 5 a.m. that night (or morning) working on my business. And I had to make myself go to bed. Meeting up with these inspiring folks was the equivalent to drinking about 5 big Red Bull’s in as many minutes. I was stoked.
It’s because I saw that they were actually DOING IT. They are living the lifestyle that I am working so hard to achieve for myself. I saw that it was possible, in person, for the first time. This wasn’t a blog post, it was the real deal.
Just this last weekend I went hiking with world-traveler and longtime online buddy Alan Perlman (the accused axe murderer, remember?), as well as with a few of his really great friends, and the experience was just as energizing. The discussions on everything blogging, traveling and entrepreneurship were a breath of fresh air.
As we were slowly working our way through some of the most dangerous terrain in North America, I had the same feeling as I did in Portland with the WBSQ group. It was pure energy. This was someone with whom I could discuss the topics that I was passionate about, and he is equally as into them as me. Awesome to say the least.
So, if there is anyone even close to where you live that you feel could create this sort of inspiration in you, then PLEASE make an effort to meet with them in person. Even if you have to travel a good amount to get there, do it. I promise that it’s worth it.
And if any of you sexy readers are ever anywhere near where I live (I live in Maine if you didn’t know) and do not make an effort to get in touch, I will track you down and make you pay for what you’ve done. This is your warning. Get in touch.
My last name is pretty weird. It’s Damm. Technically pronounced “Domm” but more often spoken by others as it looks (a mild curse word that I happen to love pretty damn much). It’s so often said wrong by people that I honestly don’t even notice anymore. I find that when I do notice enough to correct people they often say, “Well why didn’t you tell me before?” My bad.
I remember once as a youngster I was looking through a phone book and saw another “Damm.” I was overjoyed. I was no longer alone! A few minutes later my dad pointed out that the listing was for my grandfather, whom I knew exclusively as “grampy.” Who knew grandparents had real names?
So, who cares if I have a really strange last name right? I certainly don’t, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to get at.
As a kid I was extremely embarrassed about my last name (as well as my abnormal amount of arm hair as a grade schooler) and it got me into some uncomfortable situations.
I remember one time I even LIED about what my last name was. It’s outrageous to think about now but self-conscious 12 year old me thought it was like the best idea ever.
Somewhere along the line, and I can’t remember exactly when, I made the choice to just roll with it. I was going to laugh at the jokes people made (they were abundant) and take it all in stride.
In making the choice to stop worrying about such a meaningless thing I learned two lessons that have helped me a lot.
First, if you are not able to laugh at yourself, you need to take a serious look at your life. When did everything become so serious? People don’t want to be around someone who is uptight. So laugh, even if it is at your own expense.
Next, a situation is only as uncomfortable as YOU want to make it. In the past when someone would mispronounce my name or say something like, “That’s a “damn” fine name you have there!” I would get all embarrassed and look at the floor. By simply laughing at my own somewhat unfortunate name (my ancestors switched from Van Damme, which is so badass and I wish they kept it) and understanding the true humor it it for some people these awkward situations were instantly gone.
It became more of a topic of conversation than anything. A neat ice breaker, if you will.
Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel embarrassed about something, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable, loosen up by thinking of the lessons I’ve just shared. Life’s too short to let your insecurities and little quirks take over and hold you back.
Embrace your weirdness (or uniqueness), and I guarantee things will go pretty Damm well for you.
I’ve got some pretty neat news. I’ve decided to take something that has been in dream status for years and actually make it reality.
On March 1, 2011 (238 days from now) I’ll be starting a walk across the United States, from coast to coast. The idea of actually doing it has been on my mind constantly for the last 5 months or so, and I promised myself in February that if by July I was still obsessed with the thought of doing it that I’m going to commit. So yeah, today I’m committing to hauling my ass across America, and you are all witnesses to it.
It will take me from Delaware to California – with Washington D.C., Maryland, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah and Nevada in between. The starting point is Cape Henlopen State Park in Delaware, with the end point being Limantour Beach In Point Reyes, California.
I’m expecting it to be a 8-9 month trip, but it’s really up in the air. I will be in no hurry. All I know is that I’ll have simple supplies: a backpack, clothing, my laptop and some food and and I’ll be walking West. I’m going to follow the American Discovery Trail through Nebraska. From the Nebraska/Colorado border I will probably just print off some Google Maps walking directions and go from those until I hit the Pacific.
It will end up being somewhere between 3,000-4,000 miles. Quite exact, I know.
I’m purposely not doing a ton of planning for this trip. I want it to be a crazy adventure where I’m put into uncomfortable (yet still safe, don’t worry about good ol’ me) situations on a daily basis and am forced to deal with them. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t want to know where I’ll be spending the next night (unless some kind people offer me a place to stay in advance, of course). Whether a family invites me into their home or I pitch my tent under a bridge or in a field full of cows, I’ll find something. I want to LIVE in the truest sense of the word.
I’m going on this trip for many reasons. But three of them really stand out right now.
1. I want to see what I’m made of. I think too few people really test themselves. Life is so comfortable at home, I need a little less comfort.
2. I want to find what America is really all about. I want to meet the REAL PEOPLE who help keep this place afloat. The people who work hard every day to provide for themselves and their family.
3. Redemption. My last attempt at an extended trip was a miserable failure. I’m not kidding one bit when I say there isn’t a day when I don’t think about the big wuss I was when I lasted 6 days on a supposed 6 week hiking trip last summer. I got homesick and I was afraid to not be home. It’s as simple as that. It’s embarrassing and I’m totally, 110% dedicated to NOT letting the fear control me again.
I’m beyond excited to get this started. I’d leave today if I could but a walk of this nature has a somewhat limited period of time when it is possible. Leaving March 1 will get me through the more mountainous regions in the West before the snow comes, and will be late enough that my start in the East won’t be too cold.
I will absolutely be updating you all as things progress. There will be a post coming up detailing my ideas on possible sponsorships, the site for the walk and stuff like that.
I lost my job a couple days ago. I was working on a political campaign for a man running for Governor of the wonderful place I call home, Maine. Unfortunately, he lost the primary election, thus leaving me without a J-O-B.
I started this job exactly a year ago, and was extremely excited for two reasons.
First, it was a cool job with really awesome people. I got to work on the computer most of the day. I was the email marketing manager among other things so I got to use really sweet services like MailChimp (which kicks some serious ass).
Secondly, I had the chance to work from home. I didn’t have to go to an office and meetings were rarely required. I was in control so I could work when I wanted, and I could also work on my own projects when I wanted. The whole working from home thing freed up a ton of time.
It was an ideal situation and I was extremely excited about it. I thought that if I couldn’t create an online income in the next 12 months then I never would.
So, I failed. Miserably.
My projects now are only making me a couple hundred buckaroos each month.
I failed for one reason: My inability to stick with ONE THING and focus on it. It’s my entrepreneurial ADHD, if you will.
I’ve had at least 3 ideas that if I had devoted 100% of my time and made it through the dip they would be making me enough to not have to be looking for a job starting tomorrow.
I’ve found the antidote to my focus problem, though. It’s this moment right now. In the future I can just think of how disappointed I was at this moment and I will have a constant flow of motivation to not let it happen again.
It’s frustrating to see so many other people doing what they want and love every day. I’m actually pretty damn jealous. It’s a terrible way to think and feel, but it’s honestly what I’m struggling with right now.
So, how can this self-centered tirade benefit you?
It’s simple. Learn from my mistake! If you’re struggling to create an income online to free yourself from a regular job, pick one thing and focus 100% of your energy on it. Fight the urge to hop along from project to project. It’s like running the first couple miles of a marathon and then returning back to the starting line every time you do it. If you could just keep a steady pace and finish it you would reach your destination eventually.
I’m going to just take all this as a lesson learned and keep moving forward (with one project getting all my attention, of course).
Do you suffer from entrepreneurial ADHD? Has it delayed your progress?
I’d love to hear what y’all think of this.