Someday, I would like to be 98% happy. Not 100%, I don’t think that’s possible. There’s always going to be something that could be better in life, so 98 seems like a good figure.
Right now I’m getting close, probably in the mid-90′s, but that little extra push is needed to get me where I want to be.
Over the last few months I’ve learned some powerful lessons that relate to happiness. Isn’t this what we all strive for, just to be happy? The first time I really thought about this was during my no-judgment challenge (Scott motivated me).
The point of this challenge was stop being so judgmental of people. I used to be a big meanie. Every time I wanted to be mean I thought, “They are just trying to be happy, and if they need to dress/look like that to do it, more power to them.” It worked wonders and I view the results of my challenge as a HUGE success.
I just thought that today I would share a few thoughts about happiness that have been bouncing around in my head:
1. Lifestyle designers are not a bunch of badass renegades. We just want to be happy! It might seem like we are the equivalent to an online biker gang to some people, but challenging authority and the status quo is not rebellious/badass behavior in my mind, it’s logical. Doing something memorable without challenging something or some idea along the line isn’t possible. We want to be happy, and this is the best way available to make it happen. Happiness is the basic motivation.
2. The key to being 98% happy for me is to have my work situation under my control. There was a time when I thought that money was the key to having the life of my dreams. I’ve come to find out that this is not it at all. Having time to do whatever I want is the goal. My real currency is time. Unfortunately, working for someone else sucks most of that time away. I’d like to hear what your currency is…
3. Even people who willingly live in unhappy circumstances just want to be happy, they just may not realize that there is another way to live. They think that they need to settle for less and the deferred happiness plan. It is our responsibility to get the word out. We know better. We are evangelists for the cause, you don’t have to go knocking on doors and handing out pamphlets though :-) So far all the other lifestyle design bloggers out there, keep doing your thing, because people are listening.
These are just some thoughts that I needed to get out. What do you think about all this?
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
What do you think of the idea that we can choose to be as happy as we want to be right now regardless of our circumstances?
Neil – I think it’s an awesome idea and concept. I do my best at this, and my close friends would tell you that I am happy and upbeat almost all the time. I’ve been really honest so far on this blog, so I figured I’d keep it going :-)
I’m never 100% happy, but I’m pretty darn close a lot of the time. I don’t even really think it’s possible to be 100% happy. I’ll admit it, I hate working for someone else. That is what keeps me from being at 98%, just the random figure that I think resembles my ultimate goal of happiness.
I could tell myself that I’m at my full happiness level, but the truth is I’m not. Yet.
Maybe I’m just a downer, but hey, I’d rather feel like a downer than a liar (as in lying to myself). Maybe I’m crazy haha.
Heya Nate:)
Thanks for sharing your story. I think Happiness comes from withing, but like you say its impossible to be 100% happy all the time. Sometimes its good not to be happy because you need a balance and moderation of everything in life!
Keep it up ;)
Cheers
Diggy
Hey Nate,
I understand where you’re coming from.
Just wanted to put that perspective out there in case you hadn’t considered it before as most of us have been trained to think that we can’t be happy until certain conditions are met.
Still working on it myself of course!
98% happy…I think that is a good number. I would even take 96%. As you said, nothing will ever be perfect (and I am not sure I would want it to be) but if you can enjoy that much of your life and feel good about it, I think you have succeeded.
Great description of lifestyle designers.
As Neil was saying we’re often taught that we can’t be happy unless such and such meets or exceeds our expectations. I would argue that we’re also taught the opposite. Not setting expectations (or goals really) as milestones gives you nothing to strive for, nothing to measure your “happiness level” with. What a confusing way to begin your pursuit of happiness!
I think realistically, both are skewed. 98% is a great number, just enough room to keep wanting more, to keep you moving forward and plenty of room to take a look around at where you’re at and what you’ve got and smile.
Great outlook Nate! May I never be complete. May I never be content. If things were perfect, what would you have to live for? To strive for? We will always want more…and that’s okay, because life is a never-ending journey of growth! It’s not in the destination, it’s in the journey.
First time to your blog, Nate. Very nice to know you and I are in the same niches. Cool bananas!
For me happiness is hugely dictated by time, mobility, money and relationships. If we can maximize these four I think we’ll be very happy.
I’d like to be 100% happy, just for a few moments to bask in it… and then I die.
Until then yeah I’d be happy to be somewhere in the 90s happy :)
Thanks everyone for all the great comments. You are wonderful.
Diggy – Balance is good my friend :-)
Neil – I’m glad you brought it up. Made me think, which is always a good thing!
Sean – It really does come down to how you feel, and how successful you think you’ve been at living the happiest life possible. And 96% would work for me too :-)
Kristin – Glad you liked my view of lifestyle designers. And the pursuit of happiness is really confusing isn’t it?! You want to set goals to increase your happiness, but you also want to be happy without meeting those goals. It’s weird. Thanks for the comment!
Cody – The idea of “It’s not in the destination, it’s in the journey” is something that seems to come up in my life just about every day. Here’s to never being complete and continuing to grow!
Gordie – Glad you could stop by! And you just nailed it with those four things. Money isn’t extremely important to me, but it’s needed to a certain extent. Thanks!
Dan – I feel the same way man. I can settle for the mid to high 90′s myself :-)
Hi Nate, thanks for sharing.
“The key to being 98% happy for me is to have my work situation under my control.”
I agree with you and I’m working a lot on this. Stumbled!
Oscar
Hi Nate,
There is a great TED.com video with Dan Pink that says we need three things to be motivated.
1. Autonomy
2. Mastery
3. Purpose
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html
It is worth a watch.
Oscar – Thanks for the stumble! Good luck as you keep working on controlling your work situation and thanks for the comment.
John – Thank you so much for sharing that video! Just watched it while eating my breakfast and enjoyed it a lot. And I couldn’t agree more with what he said in that video. I’ll be sharing this on Twitter.
I like to tell people that I’d always rather be happy than content. To me, contentment is when you’ve stopped pursuing happiness, and what a miserable existence that must be!
I like this idea of always having something just out of reach. To be able to (as Kristin said) look around you and smile is an amazing thing, and to be able to look around and smile and then jump back into whatever it is you enjoy doing, always looking forward but still living in the moment, is even better!
Happiness is definitely an admirable goal. Since graduating, and even a little before then, thoughts have been bouncing around my head concerning what I really value. This idea that you put forward Nate that time is far more important than money is spot on.
It’s quite the uphill battle that people are fighting against however, as society, both on the smaller family scale and the larger community, condition us to seek happiness in material goods, in possessions, in money and promotions. It doesn’t help that the spectacular might of the advertising and marketing apparatus pushes this message as well.
Colin – How you, and Kristin, described it is perfect. That is how I know I’m genuinely happy in a situation; when I just take a look around and smile. But I’m with you about the concept of not being content, I’m the same way most of the time. I need to keep moving on and pushing forward.
Nathan – Nice name! Good to have another Nate around here. I’m glad you feel the same way about the money vs. time concept. And it sure it an uphill battle, society wants to put us in a place that many of us aren’t entirely cool with. That’s why I started this blog, and why many of the people who have commented on this post have done the same. Thanks for the comment!
Good thoughts here and in the comments.
Your “key” to happiness will likely change over time.
Everyone has their own keys. Even among the Lifestyle Design crowd, people have different desires. Not everyone wants the same things out of life by any stretch, so the keys are all a little different.
There are no shortage of people who will try to tell you that their key is the right key (some even try jamming their key into your lock, so to speak :-D ).
Some would say one of the biggest problems humanity has always had to deal with in one form or another is people deciding what is best for everyone else.
I think it’s awesome that so many people are not blindly following the “status quo”. Not being rebellious for the sake of saying, “look at me! I’m a rebel!” But being rebellious because living the plan as laid out by the status quo doesn’t make you happy.
Doing anything “different” is not made easy by the masses. So it’s good to see you getting your different on.
Hey James, I’m so getting my different on. Haha, thanks for the comment. You’re right about there being no shortage of people who think that their key is the ultimate key. It’s all about what works for you. Isn’t that what lifestyle design is all about? Thanks for stopping by!
Nate,
I’ve had this tab open for days and I’m finally getting around to comment. LOL (I’ve been busy, as you know)
I think you are right on target! As you know, I’ve been studying behavior and motivation for years. And I totally agree with you when you said, “we just want to be happy.” I think this is the underlying motivation to everything we do. Even when we sometimes make choices that seem to move us away from happiness, we are still trying to make the best choice out of all the choices available.
In my opinion, less than 100% happy is a requirement! Or at the least, I think it’s important to only stay at 100% for short periods of time. We need time away from full-on happiness so that we don’t get too comfortable where suddenly happiness loses it’s shine. If we don’t have contrast, we can fail to recognize when we are truly happy.
My currency is freedom….which, I think, is at the heart of what you said about time being your currency. I just want to have the freedom to live my life on my own terms. What will I do with my life when I reach that Utopian state? I’ll give it away! Because of what I’ve learned (and tested) over the years, I’m getting closer to the freedom for which I’m striving. More and more I’m focusing on how to give that information away.
Truly a great post, Nate! Thanks!
________________________________
In case some of your readers want to check out the specific “Challenge” post that you referred to, it is called “Conviction: Tap the Amazing Power that You Possess to Instantly Change Your Life—Forever!” and they can find it here: http://bit.ly/cDBz6
Or they can check out all my posts on Motivation here: http://bit.ly/zoUgs
All the best!
Scott
hey nate.
man, not sure if it’s the way you put it, or maybe some obscrure combination of circumstantial factors, but this post really got me thinking.
98% happy?
is that possible? are there degrees of happiness?
i mean; sure, feels like it right, sometimes you’re happy and sometimes REALLY FVKN SUPER CRAZY HAPPY. or are you? not so sure. when i’m only kinda happy, it’s not really happiness. or maybe it is and we’re limited by words. maybe joy is what i’m talking about.
or maybe you’re talking about being happy 98% of the time. to me, true happiness is on or off. either you’re released and unleashed and fully loving life, or you’re not. there’s no “kinda happy”. so maybe it’s a goal to be happy 98% of the time.
but you can’t control that. and if you leave room for 2% unhappiness, you’ll create doubt and the happiness will always be tainted and incomplete.
but there’s the thing. you can be happy right now. or not. and that’s all you can say. sure, a goal for happiness 98% of the time is great, but that’s the future. can’t control that. you can choose to be happy right now though. always :)
awwwwsome site all round.
can’t believe i haven’t seen it before.
keep well and in touch mate
alex – unleash reality
Hey Alex! Thanks for stopping by, and for such a great comment.
I love the idea of time as currency. That’s what I want to accumulate more of too.