Let me give you a quick picture of what life was like for me about 18 months ago…
I was controlled by an overbearing and manipulative girlfriend, attended a church in which the community was very hypocritical and judgmental, and basically let everyone walk all over me. I was stressed and unhappy, and didn’t even really realize it.
All of these bad circumstances changed for the better once I started doing one thing. I challenged each one head on. A break up took care of the girlfriend, I stopped going to that church full of negative people, and I started to stand up for myself. The challenges then started to expand into every aspect of my life.
The motto I took on was, “Challenge everything.” I’d like to talk about a few things I’ve challenge in my life to maybe spark some ideas in your mind. I talk about “me” a lot in this post, and it might seems selfish. It’s just the only way I can really make the points I’m trying to make.
Challenge the meaning of ‘work.’
I was on the fast track to big college debt and a degree in something I didn’t care about. It actually scares me to look back at this now. Not sure what the catalyst was but I started looking into alternative lifestyle choices (of course I picked up the 4HWW) and it changed my perception on work in a huge way. Now I can’t imagine sitting in a cubicle and working for someone else. I couldn’t function in that type of environment. This has hit especially close to home recently and I’ve been working my butt of to get my business(es) afloat. If you are stuck at a job and can’t leave for financial reasons, etc., then try to negotiate a remote work agreement. You never know until you try!
Challenge your knee jerk reaction to everything.
I used to have some pretty bad road rage. I would yell at people and beep my horn for the slightest of driving errors. And of course, I was never the wrong one, it was always their fault. I took a personal challenge to stop that behavior. It was hard, but I now see my efforts as a huge success. It sucks to be mad and defensive all the time. Don’t be afraid to just let something go, or even acknowledge that you are wrong.
Challenge your religion.
This is a big one. It might not apply to all, but I’ll mention it anyway. I’ve been a Christian almost my entire life, and still am. Some of the most deep thinking and study sessions I have had in regards to studying my faith have come from challenging the principles I’ve always followed without a thought. I’m still deep into this one, and I do need to say that if you plan to actively challenge your religion you need to be careful. It’s quite a mental struggle. For the sake of transparency, I’ll admit that my faith has suffered due to this questioning. I don’t go to church anymore at all. I instead study the Bible on my own. Christianity is a faith based on love, yet so much negativity and hatred come from those who claim to be “Christians.” Also, why follow certain things in the Bible and not others? If that’s how it is why follow it at all? Where is the line drawn? This is way off topic (sorry), but something I needed to write.
Challenge negative and close minded people.
We all have trolls in our life. Challenge them head on. I had an experience with someone who was a mentor to me that was very discouraging: I was talking about how I was planning on not going back to school so I could work on my own business and save money to travel. This person responded very negatively and said things such as, “I would never leave this country, it’s just not safe anywhere else.” I told this person I didn’t agree, and things really haven’t been the same since with them. And that’s ok. Don’t be afraid to take a stand and be yourself. If someone isn’t willing to at least respect your views, cut them out of your life.
Important: If you plan on challenging everything, plan on being challenged back.
If you adopt the challenge everything mindset, expect others to challenge you back. That’s just the way it works. Instead of getting defensive and making an ass of yourself, engage in conversation and acknowledge good points made my the opposition. You might even learn you are wrong! As lifestyle designers we are trying to open the minds of others to an alternative lifestyle, and that can’t happen if we don’t open our own minds.
Well, that’s enough from me for today folks. Keep doing what you do, you are amazing.
get free updates when I post again by rss or by email. if you really want to make my day then you can share this post with your network. you rock.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Definitely be prepared to be challenged back! Great advice. I’m glad to hear you are at least questioning everything you do just because you have always done it. It’s absolutely key to staying on top of yourself and knowing that you are always moving forward productively with your life.
Also, challenging my religion was probably the biggest step I took in getting myself to think for myself. Realizing that I engaged in those beliefs and participated in those events for the community and because it was how I was raised, rather than because it was something I inherently believed to be true was a huge eye-opener. It made me aware that the reasons I was a part of a religion at all were holding me back from being honest with myself and living the life that I really wanted to live. It’s a tough thing to challenge, especially when it’s been so ingrained in one’s life, and you may not reach the same conclusions I did, but I certainly applaud you asking the questions.
Great great post Nate and good to here more about your life. Well done on all the changes you have made – I can imagine they were not easy, but it sounds like these experiences have been a good learning curve for you.
The message here is great – I think it’s a daily challenge for most of us to really follow our own hearts. I think sometimes the pressure to conform whether it is to another person or on a larger scale (religion, society) is really strong.
I would question if your faith has suffered though? Just a thought and onl you know your own experience, but for me, going to church etc isn’t necessarily synonomous with faith. Have you read ‘Conversations with God’? I was brought up as a Catholic and always had trouble with the religion side of things …not the idea of God, but the man made part (as you say…why follow some parts of the bible and not others?) For me, this book really was the closest experience to what I imagine God really is like.
Anyway Nate – thanks again – really enjoyed reading this.
Jen
Hey Nate!
Great post man, I enjoyed reading it. I love those realizations of ‘what the f*** was I doing?’. Hope your online business is going well!
I really like how you address questioning your religion. I presonally think that being raised with a religion is not right. Everyone should have the freedom to explore multiple religions and choose the one they feel most attracted to.
Have a beautiful day!
Diggy
Challenging my knee-jerk reaction to everything seems to be my purpose in life. My knee-jerk reactions tend to be completely emotional and nonsensical and typically that get me in a lot of trouble. So of all the things to challenge, this is the one I’d have to say affects me the most.
On the topic of religion, I would agree with Jen that faith isn’t synonymous with going to church. But faith is synonymous with people. And, despite our culture and tradition, church isn’t a destination. It’s us. Just people. This cultivation of Christianity as an individualist movement or as something that is wholly personal is a farce. I could go on and on about this sort of thing so if you ever want to talk about it, let me know. One of my favorite subjects. But, in short, there’s a time in our lives where the religion we inherit from our families, through painful metamorphosis, become our own (no matter if the end result is theist or non-theist or void of anything we would traditionally consider ‘religion’).
Great post, man…
Hey man, very good post. I think every once in awhile we all need to look at the major aspects of life and question how it is going. We need to continue pursuing our goals and our happiness, and if you don’t stop and review where you are at from time to time, you could run into some major problems down the road.
One word of caution, be very care if you are ever considering pursuing a remote work agreement! You may very well be fired for submitting the idea ;)
Thanks for the great comments!
@ Kristin – It’s great for me to hear about your experience in regards to religion in your life. For me the motivation is like you just wrote, “Getting myself to think for myself.” Who knows what conclusions I will come up with? It will at least be interesting. Thanks!
@ Jen – Thanks for such a great comment. You make a great point in questioning whether my faith has really suffered or not. Maybe it’s the other way around. And yes, the “man made part” is what I’m trying to figure out. Thanks again for the encouragement.
@ Diggy – I’m with you 100% on the topic of being forced into a religion. That is a choice, not something that should be required. Thanks!
@ J. D. – I’m quite a knee-jerk reaction fighter as well, those can get ya in trouble :-) I thought you would have something great to say in the comments of this post and I was right. I agree that faith is synonymous with people, I’ve just never thought about “people” being a separate thing from “church.” It’s important to have like-minded people around for encouragement, I was just getting more negativity from these people than anything, so I split. Thanks for the awesome comment!
@ Sean – Yup, a good self review is good every once in a while. Glad you agree. As for the elusive remote work agreement… You are pretty much an authority in that department, so I believe you haha. It’s definitely something to approach with caution! Thanks for the comment.
Religion is something that can be the biggest boon or the biggest drawback, depending on the person. my grandfather, and my great-grandfather, were both preachers. I grew up with people expecting me to blindly follow their views of God. The pressure caused me to rebel against religion for many years. Later I made a study of religion just because I want to be able to compare them myself. When you step back and can really be objective, you realize that all the major religions have several things in common. First, I feel it is imperative that you remember that all these writings have gone through many translations & have been filtered by many people who have their own agenda. (the Catholic Church removed many books of the Bible in the third century A.D.) Second, the foremost message in all of them is to live by the Golden rule! And last but not least, the great prophets like a Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammed and Lao Tze spent their lives teaching by example! I personally became a Taoist, mainly because it is the only religion I found the does not profess to have the only path. I believe the hardest challenge the any of us face, is challenging our own beliefs!! It seems you’ve made a great start on that, so everything else will eventually follow. Good luck, and keep up the good work.
@ Steve – Wow, thanks for such a great comment. Your point about the Bible not being in it’s original state has been a hot topic in my mind lately. I don’t really feel like learning Hebrew to go back to a more un-changed version, so I’ll have to look into that more. I’ve been reading about Taoism, and it seems like a great way of life to follow. I’m trying to learn as much as I can about other religions. I don’t see me changing from Christianity, but it’s interesting and a great experience nonetheless. Thanks again!
Nate,
Great post! You are just now starting a journey that is going to change your life in unimaginable ways. I started the same journey when I was about your age. My theory was, if I was asking questions from the heart and with an honest effort to understand “truth” at a deeper and deeper level, then “God”, “the universe”, the “extraterrestrials”, the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” or whatever is (or isn’t) out there would know my heart and there would be no penalties from my honest inquiry. I feel confident that this is correct.
My own personal caution to you is this:
The more you wake up; the more clearly you see the “true” reality, the more clearly you’ll be seeing both the good AND the bad stuff in life. The highs might go higher but there’s always the potential that the lows can go lower. Don’t dwell too much on the bad stuff, as you become aware of it–and you WILL become aware of it. Let it inform you, make you wiser, but stay focused more on surrounding yourself with what is here and now…what is “real”.
Associate with good people and do good things in the world. That’s how you stay centered. You will cross many lines that, after you cross them, you can never go back. I can tell you’ve already crossed a few recently. Paradigms shifts are a dime a dozen on the journey you’ve begun. At first, they’ll fly at you from every direction. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, back off for a short time and focus on something “real”, like a hobby or something fun but different. Life can be truly amazing, if unreal!
You might want to consider starting some form of meditation to give you a way of quickly re-centering yourself. This can be moving forms of meditation, like Tai Chi or formal, sitting meditations, like breath meditation or even TM (Transcendental Meditation). Meditations can be unaided or aided, such as Hemi-Sync CDs (I spent a week at the Monroe Institute using Hemi-Sync…I recommend this method), or you can try them all…which I also recommend.
The journey may take you to whole new levels of “reality”. If you would like book suggestions to help you expedite your journey, I’d be happy to make some.
Good luck on your fabulous Journey. Be prepared to be amazed!
All the best!
Scott
@ Scott – Thanks for such great advice! I’ve been very pleased with the understanding and knowledge of the people who have left comments on this post. I really appreciate your thoughts on realizing what is “real.” Associating with good people and doing good things in the world is what I’m focused on doing right now. It has definitely been a cool experience so far, and it’s going to get even better. Thanks again, Scott.
Good stuff!
A favorite motto of mine is Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” And in a world where it seems that there are so many distractions aimed at devaluing deep reflection, exploration, and habitual questioning, it is important to evaluate all ideas, especially deeply held traditional thoughts/assumptions. I appreciate stumbling into this blog, and particularity this post!
If you’re interested, here are two books from progressive authors who have helped me in my questioning & spiritual journey.
–>Blue Like Jazz: Non Religious thoughts on Christian Spirituality – Donald Miller
–>Pagan Christianity – Frank Viola
Also…just the act of writing, blogging, and connecting with other thinkers/bloggers, has helped me keep an open mind and a spirit of exploration.
Continue to encourage people on their life’s journey!!!
-Veron
Nate – quality thoughts here. I find your posts more and more influential, especially this one!
@ Veron – Hey! Glad you found the blog and left a comment. Just checked out your site, very good stuff. Thanks for the book suggestions, I will definitely be checking them out. I’ve also found that blogging has opened up my mind a lot. There are so many great people out there to talk to and get opinions from (you for example).
@ Alan – Thank you!
My first time here :)
I really inspired with this post. Sometimes, we just have to be ourselves, and stand by our opinions.
I love this quote from Adidas ads:
“Some people listen to themselves, rather then listen to what other say. These people don’t come along very often. But when they do, they remind us. That once you set up in a path, even though critics may doubt you. Its okay to belive, that there is no can’t, won’t or impossible. They remind us, it’s okay to believe. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!”
Lets challenge everything :)
@ Syuxx – Great quote you shared here. I’m really glad that you stumbled across my blog, and even more glad that you enjoyed this post! Thanks for the comment.
What’s up Nate? Nice name by the way :)
I totally loved the road rage example. I used to have issues with that and then one day I said to myself ‘what’s the point of being so stressed out when I drive?’ It was really about letting things go that I can’t control. I have since expanded that kind of thinking to other areas of my life.
@ Nate – I’ve been seeing you commenting on other posts and wondering, “Who’s this other Nate?” Haha, thanks for leaving a comment here and saying hi. It sounds like we’ve had similar experiences with trying to let go of things that aren’t worth worrying about. Driving was a good example for me, and you as well apparently. Thanks again!
I’m so glad I’m not alone – right now I’m entering into my last-ish semester of my master’s degree, and this entire year I’ve been going through a “What the *@&# am I doing?!?!?!?! (?!?!?!)” I selected MA TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) explicitly for its ability to allow me to work in university settings internationally…never stopping to think whether or not I like teaching. Turns out, I like philosophizing about the human mind and how language works and all of the fluff courses we had, but when it came time to be practical…I ended up hating it, and now find myself questioning it all. The social conditioning in me says, “You only have one semester left, you might as well finish so you have the master’s degree.” That whole finish what you start mentality. And the person who I am says, “It’s stupid to waste any time at all doing anything you aren’t completely inspired by, even if it’s only a semester. Don’t waste your time & energy on stupid things.”
That said, I do think that we can only become the people we ARE (whether we’re consciously aware of who it is we are, or not) by first questioning assumptions, and thinking critically about each, and then reconstructing our lives based on selective integration-what we deem to be important based on OUR wants…not what someone else tells you you should want. Sounds like you already kicked ass in this department. Rock, on rockstar!!!!!!!
@ Ash – I can appreciate your school dilemma, although on a MUCH smaller scale. I went to a local community college for one reason, to play college basketball. They have a great basketball program and it was a good fit for me. I played for 3 years, and with 1 class left before getting my degree I left. Who knows if I will ever finish? I don’t feel I really need to. I’ve given myself some time to see what I can do without it, and build an income online. I KNOW I can do it. Thanks for such a great comment, your enthusiasm is the best!
It is definitely time to start thinking for ourselves! Very timley post! From religion to politics to everyday life we run into pre-conceived notions handed down from someone else that everybody follows blindly! One of my favorite lines that I use is that “Conventional Wisdom is an Oxymoron!” There is nothing conventional about wisdom! Wisdom is learning from life and not relying on someones version of the truth! Reality is the best teacher. Challenging everything does not mean that you have to be confrontational all the time. We still must be tolerant of other’s opinions but we don’t have to succumb to them either.. Thanks for the great post!
@ Randall – Thanks for a great comment. You just summed up my exact thoughts! I like how you brought up the word Wisdom. That word isn’t one that I usually think about in this situation, but it’s a great fit. Thanks again!