My last name is pretty weird. It’s Damm. Technically pronounced “Domm” but more often spoken by others as it looks (a mild curse word that I happen to love pretty damn much). It’s so often said wrong by people that I honestly don’t even notice anymore. I find that when I do notice enough to correct people they often say, “Well why didn’t you tell me before?” My bad.
I remember once as a youngster I was looking through a phone book and saw another “Damm.” I was overjoyed. I was no longer alone! A few minutes later my dad pointed out that the listing was for my grandfather, whom I knew exclusively as “grampy.” Who knew grandparents had real names?
So, who cares if I have a really strange last name right? I certainly don’t, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to get at.
As a kid I was extremely embarrassed about my last name (as well as my abnormal amount of arm hair as a grade schooler) and it got me into some uncomfortable situations.
I remember one time I even LIED about what my last name was. It’s outrageous to think about now but self-conscious 12 year old me thought it was like the best idea ever.
Somewhere along the line, and I can’t remember exactly when, I made the choice to just roll with it. I was going to laugh at the jokes people made (they were abundant) and take it all in stride.
In making the choice to stop worrying about such a meaningless thing I learned two lessons that have helped me a lot.
First, if you are not able to laugh at yourself, you need to take a serious look at your life. When did everything become so serious? People don’t want to be around someone who is uptight. So laugh, even if it is at your own expense.
Next, a situation is only as uncomfortable as YOU want to make it. In the past when someone would mispronounce my name or say something like, “That’s a “damn” fine name you have there!” I would get all embarrassed and look at the floor. By simply laughing at my own somewhat unfortunate name (my ancestors switched from Van Damme, which is so badass and I wish they kept it) and understanding the true humor it it for some people these awkward situations were instantly gone.
It became more of a topic of conversation than anything. A neat ice breaker, if you will.
Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel embarrassed about something, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable, loosen up by thinking of the lessons I’ve just shared. Life’s too short to let your insecurities and little quirks take over and hold you back.
Embrace your weirdness (or uniqueness), and I guarantee things will go pretty Damm well for you.
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Guilty as charged. Definitely pronounced your name “damn” over the phone yesterday. I think I’ll stick to that pronunciation, you know, just to keep things interesting.
I can totally relate. Everytime I tell someone my last name is “Runyon” I get the same response…”O Runyon, like Onion?” or Funyon or (because I’m tall) like Paul Bunyon?
I even had a kid make up a song about my name using all the rhyming words.
I used to (middle school) get annoyed, but I just roll with it.
Also, being able to laugh at yourself is a must. So underrated.
“Life’s too short to let your insecurities and little quirks take over and hold you back.”
Too true, Nate, to true!! In fact, our little quirks and insecurities are what make us interesting. Can you imagine a world where everybody looked the same, thought and spoke the same, blah, blah, blah… that would totally stink! I don’t think I’d want to live in a world like that.
Personally, I’m just going to go on embracing my weirdness, as you suggested. :-)
Cheers,
Scott
The day and months after all of my friends discovered that my middle name was Earl during my first year of high school, I was devastated by the laughter and joking that ensued. However, I too began to join in the fun, thinking that a middle name of Earl was absolutely something to laugh at. And now almost half of my friends and family call me Earl and I decided to use that name for my blog.
Laughing at ourselves is not only healthy but can bring about unexpected opportunities as well!
@ alan – Did you really? See what I mean about not noticing haha. And feel free to stick with it. That’s just fine, in fact, it’s encouraged!
@ runyon funyon – :-) Thanks for sharing your funny name stories. I’d love to hear that song sometime.
@ scott – I wouldn’t want to live in a world like that either, great point. When I think about the reasons why I like some of my best friends, it’s often because of some weird trait they have or something odd that they do. I like having funny people around. Thanks for the comment!
@ earl – Glad you stuck with Earl! Wandering Derek? Just not as cool. Thanks for stopping by.
People are oftentimes having difficulties in handling their uniqueness, but I believe that by embracing such uniqueness can relieve us of the feeling of alienation.
This is a good advice Nate. Sometimes, we need to learn to laugh at ourselves. :-)
Walter,
Yes, I so agree. The older I get, the more I appreciate each person’s uniqueness. I just wish I would have had a better grasp of this when I was in high school.
Scott
Could you just imagine the horror of someone I know when she started going to school?
First name: Lovely
Last Name: Nott
Lovely Nott. All the boys in school would laugh everytime! Good thing, though, that she is able to laugh at it, too.
Now, I wonder if Lovely Nott has moved back to London and what her peers think of her quite unusual name.
@ walter – Thanks!
@ mela – That’s quite a name! Thanks for sharing it. Definitely makes me feel better, although it is at her expense… Good to hear that she can understand the humor and embrace it!
My grandfather’s name is Grampy too! I thought *I* was the only one :)
I am so busy embracing my unique weirdness that I think it gets misunderstood for pda? Maybe you should address this in your next blog?
@ lynn – hehe maybe :-)
@ lach – You certainly aren’t! Grampy is where it’s at.
I’ve got an odd name, but like you I’ve found it to be an icebreaker. I just tell people “it’s spelled like it sounds – water and dead folks” and they NEVER forget.
I get a lot of pirate jokes too, lol.
@ mr. water and dead folks – Brilliant, seriously. Just made me laugh so hard.
What a great post! I have mentally said your name wrong so many times, but now i know better :-)
I can see how that might have been difficult as a youngster. Being a kid is tough enough as it is.
Great story though for all of us and great lessons to pass along. Thanks for sharing!
I LOVED this Nate – when you were born, the nurses at the hospital used to love saying, “will someone please go get that DAMM baby”, and pronounced it damn. They knew the difference…but thought it was so funny – I laughed right along with them (even after going through 26 hours of hard labor with all 8 lbs. 13 oz. of you…).
Your life lessons are so wonderful – I, too, had to learn not to take my name too seriously. Try being “Edith Anne” in the era of Lily Tomlin’s comedy act, Edith Anne the girl in the big rocking chair. It was a character building time for your mother!!
You are awesome!
@Nate’s Mom
I’m guessing that some of Nate’s awesomeness came from you. I mean…look how Nate turned out. So you deserve some of the credit too. :-)
Be Well,
Scott
@ mom – Good to know that I was getting abused about the name just minutes after I was born! Thanks for the comment, Mom. And you are the awesome one.
@ scott – I totally agree. She needs A LOT of the credit :-)
I have to feel you on the name thing [and if you can pronounce mine without googling it I will send you cookies :) ].
Elementary school with a different name is difficult for anyone. Though you can quickly learn how much fun you can have with substitute teachers.
It’s to the point now where I don’t correct people as long as I know they’re talking to me. I accept many variation upon my name.
And I just am thankful that it wasn’t worse. One of my mothers was named Mel and her maiden name was Lester. Mel Lester. I don’t even want to picture how THAT was in school….
@ ngaio – Mel Lester… I don’t feel so bad anymore. Thanks for the great comment!