Online relationships are great, and I really cherish the people with whom I interact with on a daily basis via this blog and Twitter. Today I was thinking about some of the differences between online relationships and face to face ones.
The thing that really stood out to me was how fragile online relationships are. I thought about it this way:
We all knew a couple in high school who used to break up what seemed like every week or so. The drama just never ended. Let’s hope this wasn’t you :-)
Why did they keep getting back together? Because their lives are were intertwined. They pass in the hall, they see each other in class and they probably have many friends in common. Just being in close proximity to eachother makes them more likely to get back together, as dysfunctional as that is. By the way this kind of thing definitely happens in the adult world too.
So how does this differ from an online relationship?
Because ending an online relationship is easy. Never hearing from someone again is just a click or two away. There is no remorse or inevitable confrontation. Once you lose someone’s trust online, they are 99% of the time gone for good. Why would they need to forgive? There are millions of other people out there competing for their attention and you’ll get lost in the crowd.
I got spammed the other day on Twitter by someone whom I thought was reputable. I promtly unfollowed and didn’t lose any sleep over it.
Do you get what I mean here?
get free updates when I post again by rss or by email. if you really want to make my day then you can share this post with your network. you rock.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
The world online is a very different place for communicating.
The detached, faceless nature makes it all too easy to forget that there are real live human beings on the other end of the screen.
Whether it be the trolls who spam and attack forums and blogs, or the just general immaturity found in some online gaming communities like Xbox Live, people just act differently online.
But the good news for the rest of us is that line is blurring. Pretty soon we won’t be faceless online. Your real life and virtual life will become one, and we’ll treat each other with the respect and courtneousness that we would if were speaking face to face.
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents. Great post as usual, Nate!
Yup, you are right Andrew. It is sometimes hard to remember that there are real people on the other side of that computer screen. Transparency is something that a lot of social media experts talk about, as you know. The more transparent the better in my opinion. Thanks!
There are definitely pros and cons with online relationships and they come in many varieties. I think what’s important is that you are always being authentic. If you’re not, you’ll run into problems…it’s not a matter of *if*, it’s a matter of *when!* Online relationships can be frustrating, but they can be great as well.
Tammy and I met online…neither one of us were looking for a long-distance relationship. Neither one of us was really crazy about “online relationships”; both of us had known people who tried it and things didn’t work out very well for them.
However, we became friends…and we were both being authentic with each other…and why shouldn’t we be? At first, we were just names w/o faces…as Andrew pointed out. But a great online friendship developed. A couple years later, I visited her in Virginia (as a friend) and fell in love with central Virginia (and with her). A year later, I moved there (well, here…where I’m living now). We dated for a year then Tammy and I got married. :-) We’re still very much in love and still have some of that “honeymoon glow”. BTW, we celebrate our 9th year anniversary next month. :-)
Scott, I’ll admit it, I’m a huge romantic, so I really enjoyed this comment! That’s a great story with a lot of good lessons mixed in with it. Being genuine, authentic and not rushing things is key. Thanks for the comment!
Oh, and congrats on the upcoming anniversary :-)